Quotes

"Никто не может выйти из своей индивидуальности"

"As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible"

"First, solve the problem. Then, write the code."

"If you say something bad about someone, you will discover that the same criticism applies to you"

"Shortcuts make for long delays"

"What you resist, you become"

"Anyone who says he isn't going to resign, four times, definitely will"

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing"

"How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on"

"If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong"

"Never argue with a fool — people might not know the difference"

"No matter which side of the door the dog or cat is on, it is the wrong side"

"The only important information in a hierarchy is who knows what"

"The client who pays the least complains the most"

"Just because your doctors have a name for your condition doesn't mean they know what it is"

"If it says "one size fits all", it doesn't fit anyone"

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"No matter where you go, there you are!"

"If you abstain from drinking, smoking, and carousing, you may not live longer — but it will feel longer"

"Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary."

"Don't worry over that other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them"

"Never let the facts get in the way of a carefully thought-out bad decision"

"Whatever happens, look as if it was intended."

"You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever"

"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another — it's one damn thing over and over"

"An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it"

"Do a little more each day than everyone expects and soon everyone will expect more"

"Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about."

"It's not who is right, it's who is left"

"Never make a decision you can get someone else to make"

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

"Hell is the place where everything tests perfectly and nothing works."

"A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do."

"A negotiation shall be considered successful if all parties walk away feeling screwed"

"You have taken yourself too seriously."

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it"

"No one is too old to learn a new way of being stupid"

"Insurance covers everything except what happens."

"Striving to better, oft we mar that's well."

"The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change."

"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy sunday afternoon."

"People specialize in their area of greatest weakness"

"Those who are unable to learn from past meetings are condemned to repeat them"

"Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget"

"Улучшить человека невозможно, и мы великолепны безнадёжно"

"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them."

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news."

"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening"

"When all else fails, read the instructions."

"No one can get beyond his own individuality"

"One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions."

"After food and sex, man's greatest drive is to tell the other fellow how to do his job."

"Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain"

"Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted"

"It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem."

"It is a simple task to make things complex, but a complex task to make them simple"

"No computer has ever been designed that is ever aware of what it's doing, but most of the time, we aren't either."

"Nostalgia is the realization that things weren't as unbearable as they seemed at the time"

"If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost"

"If you want to make enemies, try to change something"

"Everyone has a scheme that will not work."

"Even the best friends cannot attend each other's funeral"

"Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes."

"Delay is the deadliest form of denial."

"Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else."

"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself."

"Indecision is the basis for flexibility."

"Insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results"

"We're making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate."

"The only faults that bother us in others are faults we share"

"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others"

"1. If it should exist, it doesn't. 2. If it does exist, it's out-of-date. 3. Only useless documentation transcends the first two laws."

"Any change looks terrible at first"

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm"

"To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most."

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."

"Traditions are solutions for which we have forgotten the problems"

"A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long."

"It's better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end"

"You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track."

"If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods"

"Most people deserve each other"

"The universe is not user-friendly."

"Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers"

"A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do"

"Any action for which there is no logical explanation will be deemed "Company Policy""

"When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly."

"Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable."

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

"It is easier to get forgiveness than permission"

"You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it."

"Everything takes longer than you think it will."

"I'm not a hero because I want your approval. I do it because I want to!"

"Если тебе дадут линованную бумагу, пиши поперек."

"The pay is not great, but work is hard."

"I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then."

"I'm the person least in need of counseling in this entire fucking state."

"Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."

"Anything that begins well ends badly. Anything that begins badly ends worse."

"I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else."

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

"He hated being sober. It meant he started to think."

"To learn from your mistakes, you must first realize that you are making mistakes."

"No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable."

"An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."

"All that dick-swagger you roll, and you can't spot crazy pussy?"

"It's amazing how long it takes to complete something you are not working on."

"It is a painful thing To look at your own trouble and know That you yourself and no one else has made it."

"If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible."

"There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over."

"An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears it is true."

"This makes us think we are the smartest creatures on the planet, but that is only because we get to define "smart"."

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."

"Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something."

"The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem."

"When things go wrong, don't go with them."

"Vimes smiled. Someone was trying to kill him, and that made him feel more alive than he had done for days."

"I've never met a human being who would want to read 17,000 pages of documentation, and if there was, I'd kill him to get him out of the gene pool."

"If anything can go wrong, it will."

"If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished."

"No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would."

"Any system must be designed to withstand the worst possible set of circumstances."

"If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

"Nothing exists except atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion."

"Если бы можно было сказать короче — я бы сказал."

"Every solution breeds new problems."

"Счастье есть. Да, есть — это действительно счастье..."

"If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right."

"The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to."

"Остановите Землю, я сойду."

"If one views one's problem closely enough, one will recognize oneself as part of the problem."

"Это письмо получилось таким длинным потому, что у меня не было времени написать его короче."

"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible."

"The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it."

"All software becomes legacy as soon as it's written."

"Nothing is as easy as it looks."

"Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"The less you do, the less can go wrong."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"This is life! We suffer, and slave, and expire — that's it."

"Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing."

"They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no."